1. |
STAR TANJŌ!
03:41
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I think I might kill myself tonight
But I prayed to Yukko and saw the light
I was sitting in the back of a taxi
Late night out and no trains that go past 3
Brother asks me where I’m heading at
I say I don’t know but I wanna tell him stop at that street
We was just off Shortland and I was wanting
To go see if that car park’s still there
The one I went up back when I was 15 with the boys
Making scenes in the city when the night’s clear
Everything back then was so sweet
But it seems like that dream turned into a nightmare
So I’m tryna go back imma run up them stairs
When I’m there imma fly in the light air
Cause Tom Scott said that one thing
Where I come from the suicide rates are higher than a junky
But when I hear that I feel nothing
Cause I’ll prolly end up dead and overdose off of something
Next day I was at uni getting drunk at the bar
But it’s time for me to come home
But instead I’m near Queen street and now I’m thinking
What’s that one car park with an extra floor?
Victoria street is where I meet my fate
And now I’m late and my mums tryna call me
But I’m staring at the top just imagining my drop
And I feel the darkness start to draw me
Cause I hate this city and I hate my
Place in the world where they just ignore me
And my mother’s sick
And I got too much trauma
To be dealing with
Let my thoughts absorb me
I might kill myself tonight
But I prayed to
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2. |
DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
04:17
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Taking the train
Thinking bout blowing my brains
Coming outta uni shit faced
Made some mistakes
I got thoughts so insane
Running laps round these fakes
But I can’t change
Yes I been stuck in my ways
Felt like I’m running in place
I’m desperately trying to make a new fate
But I’m fucking worried it might be too late
I can’t even look in the mirror
Cause I always tear up
I start to realise that I’m broken
When I feel fearless
I’m not seeing clearer
So I do not bother with showing emotion
I got some demons and Jesus is livid
With all of my actions that’s backwards and twisted
Will I be forgiven for all of my sinning
Or am I just doomed to the life that I’m living
I gotta be Truman cause this shit feels scripted
My mum getting sicker and our time is limited
She might get better but I feel pathetic
Cause I cannot help with the bills or her living sitch
I’m in debt
And I’m broke as fuck
Spending all my money on this music
Just for no one to listen it got me conflicted
What if all this hard work been useless
And it’s changing my soul and I’m losing control
And someone tried to call me abusive
Yeah I’ve got some thoughts that’s intrusive
But I’d never lay hands on a woman
So don’t lie on my name for some credit
I was gon tell you how I feel but forget it
But every letter I’m spitting is greatness discerned
This is the moment I’ve earned
This is the return
And I gotta stay on the move
Whole life I been feeling confused
Everytime I fall
I feel I might lose
My nana dementia in mind
Looked me in my eyes
And told me the truth
You can fail when you do what you hate
So you just do what you want to do
Nana told me that shit and it’s true
So I gotta stay on the move
Whole life I been feeling confused
Everytime I fall
I feel I might lose
My nana dementia in mind
Looked me in my eyes
And told me the truth
You can fail when you do what you hate
So you just do what you want to do
I know I talk a lot about suicide
Cause if I’m being honest g I really wanna die
But I do worry bout what might happen now
If I try put this up on Spotify
Cause when you start to make sample based art
All these labels wanna do is come and say you’re a criminal
Cause when you start to make art
That comes straight from the heart
Then they say you’re a *** that’s unoriginal
But I’m a God and that’s end of sentence
Crucified by my own intentions
Bitch I live in my own dimension
So fuck all the rules I don’t pay attention
Your loss if you don’t wanna listen
Cause I beat my own beats to submission
Since I was born I been on a mission
Making these tracks til I’m counting these millions
See I do it for the fam
And when I get famous imma do it for my fans
And if it’s cliche I don’t care what you say
Ever since I was a kid g I always had a plan
To be the fucking man that my father never was
And to build my own buzz maybe buy my own land
We need to take it back cause for years they attacked
Cause our wairua strong but they never understand
Listen up
Fuck the tropes and generalizations
How come we gotta fight hard for our nation
Cause when I try to speak my language and can’t say shit
I realise that colonisation
Still got more effects then it should on me
On my brown little cousins when they feeling lonely
So imma work my ass off
Til I’m so far gone
Everybody gonna think that they really know me
And I gotta stay on the move
Whole life I been feeling confused
Everytime I fall
I feel I might lose
My nana dementia in mind
Looked me in my eyes
And told me the truth
You can fail when you do what you hate
So you just do what you want to do
Nana told me that shit and it’s true
So I gotta stay on the move
Whole life I been feeling confused
Everytime I fall
I feel I might lose
My nana dementia in mind
Looked me in my eyes
And told me the truth
You can fail when you do what you hate
So you just do what you want to do
And I gotta stay on the move
Whole life I been feeling confused
Everytime I fall
I feel I might lose
My nana dementia in mind
Looked me in my eyes
And told me the truth
You can fail when you do what you hate
So you just do what you want to do
Nana told me that shit and it’s true
So I gotta stay on the move
Whole life I been feeling confused
Everytime I fall
I feel I might lose
My nana dementia in mind
Looked me in my eyes
And told me the truth
You can fail when you do what you hate
So you just do what you want to do
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3. |
FEEL A WAY!
02:41
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Aye yuh
JJ lurking in the night
I been searching for the light
I can see it in my fucking mind
Aye yuh
I told ya everything’s alright
But I gotta stop lying to myself
I need some help this time
Cause lately it been feeling like I’m a dropout
But I graduated, kept my head down
Yet the heartbreak’s still there? wow
Well I got faith it’ll work out
In the long run cause they washed up
You can see how they come and they talk tough
But I block that shit like a pop up
I been all alone I don’t talk much and it’s apparent
I need some love from my other parent
I need a chick look like Leslie Caron
I need some friends that will not abandon
I’m changing my life cause I cannot stand
When I look in the mirror and see that man
That’s another part of me but not wholeheartedly the person that I wanna be so bad
Because I just got out of a pyramid scheme
All of these unis, they promise you dreams
But I’m on the benefit and barely getting shit so I’m wondering why I did these things?
But baby I did it for music
With these bars I’ma empty the full clip
Cause in five years I’ll be top 5
If I stay alive through this bullshit
Huh yeah
All you motherfuckers make me feel a way
Why the fuck you think I never let you see my face?
I didn’t know that I was gonna see today
Somebody tell me if they feel this cause I’m not okay
So if they ever made you feel a way
Just know my g, you’re gonna be okay
Aye
All you motherfuckers make me feel a way
Why the fuck you think I never let you see my face?
I didn’t know that I was gonna see today
Wait
Look
Aye
They tried to take away my fucking light
They talk shit but I still ain’t die
In five years I’ll be top five
But that’s only if I stay alive
Aye
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4. |
THERAPY
03:17
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Yo
I’m sitting in this Uber
Wondering if I should call her
Thinking I might be able to go back and solve our problems
But if I’m being honest
Sickness I got a lot of
With this I try to fix it
But missing is how I’ve wound up
Here is my final offer
The nail in the coffin
I’m tryna make a name for myself but not for profit
So maybe I could help somebody else with their darkness
But if you can’t find the light yourself then what are ya
Maybe I’m fucking nothing
Maybe I’m fucking useless
Maybe I should just end it to stop of all the confusion
Maybe I been abusive
Maybe I am a user
That or I’m just a loser
Who doesn’t know how to do this
I escape to my music
Trying to find influence
Tryna not be influenced by substances that’s elusive
Cause if health is wealth then I’m spiritually broken
I try say how I feel but the words are unspoken
I hope that someone will be there for me
Cause g I still can’t afford therapy
Is somebody out there? Are they hearing me?
If somebody talk you let em speak
So keep your head up high
Rise up
Never fear this life
Rise up
Aye keep your head up
Rise up
Never fear them
Rise up
I told the Uber to stop here
I live truth I don’t dare
Try get by with no care
I get lots of ideas
Fuck executing
My thoughts can end ya career
My thoughts can turn a nightmare to reality
My thoughts have power and give me this fear
My thoughts are deadly might cause a fatality
My thoughts make me wish I was never here
All of my thoughts got a mind of they own
They do what they want and they know I’m alone
They fuck with my friends and they fuck with my family
If it’s just me they terrorise my home
Been running away from my thoughts for a minute
I did some deals with em and thought we was finished
Talk to my therapist I hope they hearing this
But I been thinking of ending it cause
When those five free sessions end
That’s the moment that I lose all my friends
That’s the moment I start over again
I can’t afford this I cannot pretend
This system we live in is fucked up
The help that they give us is barely the minimum
I know some got it worse
My family cursed by these sicknesses that we been living with
Mum might go on work and income
Life’s fucked I pray that we get some
Blessings coming in the form of
A monetary currency so we can perform this
Game that doesn’t really exist
Putting worth on our lives that's fucking meaningless
I don’t know if I can take it
But I gotta make it
So we can get better
Together
I hope that somebody will be there for me
Cause g I still can’t afford therapy
Is somebody out there? Are they hearing me?
If somebody talk you let em speak
So keep your head up high
Rise up
Never fear this life
Rise up
Aye keep your head up
Rise up
Never fear them
Rise up
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5. |
BLOOD, SWEAT & TEARS
04:17
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This is blood, sweat and tears!
This is ending my career
She said that I’m never there
Bitch I am not even here
Got so many things to fear
I just feel like no one care
Oh well fuck ‘em
I’m disgusting
I got demons in my head
I got people all around me and they wishing for my death
I been working since a child but I never get respect
Been creating for awhile but now all I see is red
I ain’t coming for the crown I'm coming for they fucking head
Must’ve had my headphones in I don’t care what the fuck you said
Chargers hopeless phone is broken
Boy don’t even try to text
I been sprinting at my dreams while y’all been sitting at your desk
What?
Everytime that I jot
I put thought in these bars yet they copying us
They just rinse and repeat
Who am I kidding I live in the dungeons and trenches
See visions that no man can see
Been underground for a minute they change their position just to get in the industry
Doing flips and bending backwards if they acrobatics
Well then I guess I am the flea
I can soar through universes and break all the curses
Yes I do the strangest of things
I feel like William Byers my heart is on fire
But I can’t do intimacy
I can’t do women or men or nobody I’m done
You do not love me you want me for fun
I’m everything everywhere all at once
I am an eagle I soar to the sun
Boy I’m the Taika of rap
What I do in the shadows is darkness and magic
Rabbits ain’t pulled out of hats
This is realer than that
All you rappers is faker than catfish
This shit has gotten so bad that the music you worship is only a bit above average
Bank account tragic but baby my spiritual wealth is in a whole nother fucking tax bracket
I told my momma I wanna be baptised
Cause I want every God off my bad side
I don’t fuck with religion I think it’s a gimmick
But I know I’m gifted and that’s why
Imma keep pushing til it’s felt
But I don’t think therapist’s office could help
I got problems that sit in my noggin’
The voices obnoxious
They tell me that y’all overlook me
I been carrying around this trauma
From mother and father
So I get angry when I shouldn’t
Crying on kitchen floor tiles
Back in 2019 I was seventeen and so useless
That was back in last of high school
Only thing I wanted was to fuck on *** pussy
Now I got all of these blessings
I think God been teaching me a lesson
My girl said that she a lesbian
Bitch I feel like Jens Lekman
Been tryna chase what I lost in the hopes that I find it
The fun thing bout time is you cannot rewind it
I done lost all hope on you bitches
You bitches don’t know me
And won’t understand me
So stay out my muhfuckin business
I got demons in my head
But I’m just tryna forget
Everything that you had left
I remember what you said
But I can’t seem to let you go
Everything I do I just don’t know
Where to go or what to do
I feel so lost I’m so confused
I got demons in my head
And I been thinking about what you said and
But I can’t seem to let you go
I got demons in my head
But I’m just tryna forget
Everything that you had left
And I been thinking about what you said
But I can’t seem to let you go
I been working blood sweat and tears for you
I been working blood sweat and tears for you
I been working blood sweat and tears for you
I can’t let you go
I been working blood sweat and tears for you
I been working blood sweat and tears for you
I been working blood sweat and tears for you
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6. |
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[JJ Shadow]
All I want is for the world to end
I been seeing all your ghosts again
I just miss being your boyfriend
So I’m gonna buy that Onlyfanz
I can never be her only man’s
So I just live in my head
I wish that I was still dead
I wish that
Baby you know that I’m sickening
You know I got that addiction
I need that debit card
Baby I swear to God
This the last one then I’m finished
I do it cause I’m always hurt
I try to get off it but it never works
No I ain’t been talking to her
Uh
She said
[Dieyanna Goddess]
Pussy boy
Motherfucking little bitch
You ain’t shit
Pussy boy
You ain’t shit
You ain’t shit
No
Pussy boy
Motherfucking little bitch
You ain’t shit
Pussy boy
You ain’t shit
You ain’t shit
Yuh
Pussy boy
You ain’t shit
Please get off my fucking dick
Little bitch
You ain’t shit
You ain’t shit
Yuh
Pussy boy
Small dick
Little bitch
You ain’t shit
You ain’t shit
You ain’t shit
No
[JJ Shadow]
And I know that you thought
That this music was gon take us far
But you just fucked a Soundcloud rapper
That still can’t even drive a car
Intimacy I can’t do it at all
Cause when I was young I was left with them scars
So when I see men being sneaky and odd
They playing pretend yeah they think a God
Nah, you just a grown up that’s grooming these women
I’m burning your *** and getting to business
I do not fuck with that shit you disgusting ass prick
And you think that there’s not much of difference
Your *** is trash and I think you should ***
But I’ll censor it out cause I don’t want specifics
I’ve seen my mother cry way too many times
So I’ll never refer to these women as bitches
Nah
Never again
But now someone tried to accuse me of shit?
I ain’t having it
Make that comment again I’m attacking it
Know some people been tryna play activist
But it’s all for the gram and I’m snapping it
Oh the cap of it what a catastrophe
And you know I mean it when I rap this way
Never abused but I made some mistakes
I tried cheating and now it’s too late
I got demons I try to escape
I feel like that shit’s changing my fate
How can I be a man and be great?
When I did that shit man I’m feeling so fake
I’m calling em out but responsibility I gotta take
Before I see another day
We been on the on and off
For awhile but your smile caught me off guard
And I forgot we was sparring in the violence of war
But if it’s on then it’s on and I’m so far gone
When it comes to us maybe it was just lust
Maybe it was desperation and unjust conversations persuading darkness over love when the light that we share start to dim as the dust clear
You better come here
Don’t you run from my love or your own tears
As you hide behind the waterfalls on your own face
I can see you tryna leave and I’m like don’t, wait
Can we just sit and talk
Can we just try sorting it out
Every kiss of death we share is like a sword in the mouth
What are you talking about?
I can’t take criticism
But I can only envision me and you at our wedding
But the tears that we shedding aren’t worth it
I know that every relationship ain’t perfect
But something's gotta give and if nothing here working
Then why are we purposely doing the worst things
Purely in spite of each other
I need some coverage
Do you got my back or am I just nothing?
I don’t know baby I ain’t got nothing to say
But if you ain’t riding with me get the fuck up out my way
And I could do this all day
I can get high with ya soar to outer space
We can just escape our problems
Living life obvious conquer our battles today but
But that might never work
Cause the shit that we did when we think about it hurts
Think we need a reset think we need a rebirth
But then I went and made it worse
Then I went and made it worse
I fucked up
Tryna cheat and shit man fuck all that
Cause I can never be your only man’s
But I’ll still buy that onlyfans
If you make one
Haha
Yeah
Cause I can never be your only man’s
But I’ll still buy that onlyfans
If you make one
And by the way this is NOT an anti-porn song
FUCK SWERFS
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7. |
||||
Been tryna hold onto these moments
But I just can’t seem to get a hold of em
Spent the whole of last night feeling lonely
I would ask you to come over but you never wanna
Used to go out with my boys smoking marijuana
Lightweight two puffs imma be a goner
But I been keeping to myself if I’m being honest
Nah I don’t run up the clubs that shit’s just a persona
But I can turn that on if you want me to be that way
How come everybody always made me feel that way
I gotta be somebody else on my day to day
Just to survive but tonight I plan my escape
Don’t really fit into percentages
I thought you knew that shit from the beginning
Always been black sheep my heart is all twisted
But when I said to you I love you girl I really meant it
Forget it
Young broke god I’m a menace
Student loan dumb no job but I’m winning
Cause I make this art baby I’m no civilian
I owe the government cash I’m in debt
And it hurts cause since birth
I have been truly blessed
I went from sleeping on couches to two story houses
But still I just live in my head
Imma feel this way until I’m dead
And I feel like it’s coming soon
Cause I just wanna aim and pop pop in my living room
Right to the back of my skull
I’m not in the mood
So if you fuck with us
You’ll get dropped by me and my crew
You’ll never catch me in the hood or the north shore
Because the only place I rep is public transport
She asked me if I wanna live and I said no
Don’t wanna be a bitch but I might let go
Oh my god
I’m so lost
Don’t know where to go
I been gone
Don’t know what’s wrong
I just can’t know
If nobody
Try to help
I might let go
I might let go
Aye, yuh
I been south
I been east
I been central
Only place that I can rep is public transport
This whole world
This my home
Imma let go
Imma let go
Aye
I don’t have a face or have a name
I hurt myself just to feel again
I always act tough but it’s fucking fake
I just rub my ego to disguise the pain
When I spit baby I’m a tyrant
I’m the indigenous Dionysus
When I drink it’s scarier than ISIS
Then I wake up don’t know what the time is
I might fuck my whole life with it
I’m bout to lose my own wife cause of it
I’m bouta cheat I am not complete
Now I can never go out in public
They need a hero but I need a Bane
Maniac veteran in my own brain
Bitch I’m lugubrious bitch I’m insane
Shoutout to Peggy and Ugly Mane
Goddamn
Oh my god
I’m so lost
Don’t know where to go
I been gone
Don’t know what’s wrong
I just can’t know
If nobody
Try to help
I might let go
I might let go
Aye, yuh
I been south
I been east
I been central
Only place that I can rep is public transport
This whole world
This my home
Imma let go
Imma let go
Aye
Yuh
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8. |
INFINITY
05:57
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I can feel it
I can feel it in my spirit
You can hear it
Through my vocal box tearing
What you’re fearing is a
Product of the drum breaks
The nights that I stay up late
Tryna make this work
So the children’s earth ain’t insane
Battling the darkness but I’m losing the war
Feel like whenever I talk they just be shrugging me off
But every beat that I’ve torn through is work of a God
But I been searching for a purpose cause the tree of life is bout to fall
I ask the pastor to absolve me of sin
As long as he don’t try and take my money again
I don’t wanna give it all just to find me some balance
So it’s 4725 until I reach the casket
Fourth is the one I follow
The seventh a sacred treasure
Second I use for pleasure
The fifth is a deadly weapon
The moment that you harness them they take them away
But they can never clip my wings
I’ma soar to outer space
Always known I was gonna be alone
Forever on my own tryna make a dream my home
I’ll never let it go til the day I reach the end of me
And even when I’m gone they gon always have to mention me
Cause everyone will know the day that I cement my legacy
So you don’t have to mourn cause you know my spirit never sleeps
It lives forever and ever within these symphonies
And you know it’s for infinity
Nowadays I’m feeling distant from my own fam
And all my friends who said they there for me done switched the plans
I feel like Kevin Ab
Don’t think they understand
Sometimes you gotta be your own fucking boyband
Sometimes you gotta be your own motherfucking fan
And pray to whatever spirit you’re dealt a greater hand
Until then it’s fuck the world I’m on my own now
I can’t go back in time and change I gotta grow now
I’m screaming fuck these consequences I ain’t running
I been hiding under covers cause the light is what I’m ducking
I been tryna find my place as the world throws me under
Demons watching me shudder as people praying I fail
But you know I always prevail I’m Bronte with the thunder
I’ll rap until I die it’s all I have before I plummet
I’ll scream into the nothing praying it’ll give me something
Arms open mind closing never coped with repercussions
Always known I was gonna be alone
Forever on my own tryna make a dream my home
I’ll never let it go til the day I reach the end of me
And even when I’m gone they gon always have to mention me
Cause everyone will know the day that I cement my legacy
So you don’t have to mourn cause you know my spirit never sleeps
It lives forever and ever within these symphonies
And you know it’s for infinity
I know you’ll be proud of me
I know you’ll be proud of me
In my mind
I can find
Something godly
I know you’ll be proud of me
I know you’ll be proud of me
In my mind
I can find
Something godly
Now let me set the example
When I be flipping the samples
I be speaking thoughts ample
Amplifying every tantrum
Speak my mind in every tangent
Feel the soul of every rapper
That’s passed, present and future
Spread my music like a cancer
So here’s the answer
And I know that it’s a given
But I’m fully in sync with rhythms
And patterns in my visions
I can see a promised land for me
Creating from the ground up
Funny how life works now I see where I wound up
Navigating pathways to my destination
If I take a wrong turn it might lead to my decimation
But a fraction of my heart is laced within every bar for me
They say they rap from the heart I’m attacking every artery
I’m honestly a God to me
I practice every word I preach
And teach my verbs upon the earth
Until it hurts for me to speak
Til I can’t even fucking breathe
Wait let me take a breath
Now I’m ready to spit my soul til there’s nothing left
Do not do this for respect
Do not do this for a cheque
Even when it’s mixed by Cheq
I’m involved in every step
Don’t mean to be spreading ego
But please do not miss these steps
Bitch I am a soaring eagle
Flying through the Ethernet
Every brushstroke is all apart of a deeper web
I do this for the broken youth who don’t know if their life is even worth it
Finding purpose tryna float above the surface
I am merely a servant to the unnerved and nervous
I am merely a vessel for the mess that is the person
I am merely a person truly flawed and imperfect
I am merely a mirror to the spirits of the broken
Wounded healer for realer l I been speaking words unspoken
Fuck a double entendre and fuck all this wordplay
I’m tryna start making differences and make the world change
If I die trying, fuck it then
I hope they all pray for me
I’m going into battle with metaphors as my weaponry
Bravado my body armour in the carnage I tend to see
A tendency to run from the darkness as it begins to creep
But see, it was meant for me
A rainbow is my legacy
I’ll always be a friend for you
And I do not pretend to be
Fake woke spiritual I speak from my universe
So if you don’t get it that’s a you problem first
I’m a symbol of everything from hospitals to hearses
Who still does not know how to end his verses
Fuck with me
And you know it’s for infinity
|
||||
9. |
WHĀNAU PT. II
05:27
|
|||
I been doing this for years I’m still going hard
Say it over and over because I’m sick of getting snobbed
I been tryna live this life and I been feeling odd
I feel existence is pointless but I’ll finish the job
I got demons in my mind please pray for me
If only you could hear the words that they say to me
Your depressive episode is everyday for me
I’m screaming at my own whānau to get away from me
If there ever is a God I hope he hears me too
But imma keep going hard ‘til I’m old and bruised
Until I’m eighty two
You know I’m always gonna stand by truth
And so I gotta lot a shit to prove
Why do people always act like they don’t love me?
When I know that they wouldn’t put their own fam above me?
A sickening cycle of all our light being shut in
But I won’t let it happen again I’m too stubborn
Maybe it’s cause I’m Stoutley
Maybe it’s cause I’m realer than most
Maybe it’s cause I’m always loving even when they go ghost
Maybe it’s because when I say shit it ain’t no joke
But yet they take it as theres fakeness in the words that I’ve spoke
Maybe I’m just too real
Maybe I hold up a mirror?
Maybe if they looked into it they’d start to see clearer
My whole fam been outcasted our hearts teared up
But we still stand strong together we never fear em
Cause our generational trauma may beat us til we’re broke
But even with all the cracks we stand solid as stone
All the sicknesses we’ve been given are barely a joke
You tell God try harder cause we still gon float
But I been tryna figure it out for years
How come my fucking mother had to shed so many tears?
How come nana and poppa worked they ass off through the years?
I'm thankful that they found love yeah we still here
I never been black sheep cause we a black herd
A flock of motherfuckers never fit into the earth
Yeah bitch we know our worth
But they treating us like dirt
Always leaving us and yet we still kicked to the curb
We got demons in our mind please pray for us
If only you could hear the words that they say to us
Your depressive episode is everyday for us
We screaming at you motherfuckers stay away from us
If there ever is a God I hope he hears us too
But imma keep going hard ‘til I’m old and bruised
Until I’m eighty two
Ever since I was born I been feeling like my mind gone
But I stay on earth doing mahi for the whānau
Make em pakipaki when I come out get my shine on
Had to use my roro hoping I don’t get these lines wrong
When I was a kid they made me feel whakama
Erased my whakapapa and made me more Pākehā
But I know my roots and it’s deeper than they say
I still wanna ako and so I’m all game
Cause baby you can try and take my pride away and make me feel ashamed
Like how you made my nana feel like her race should’ve changed
But bitch you can never take my name
Cause g I am mighty
Like Ihu Karaiti
I’ll stand here all day
Because you know my wairua strong
And you can never ever break the motherfucking bond
But yo
I’m in the long white cloud like rangi
Fuck with my whānau that shit is your tangi
I used to think that we wasn’t important
But our family history has just been absorbed in
Darkness and hurt slavery and distortion
My poppa African but all his life he didn’t know it
My nana Māori but was told to never try to own it
And all our language had been broken and our culture stolen
So then we had to build our own and hold it
But struggling is a luxury available to only those who can’t afford it
We found ourselves and we still might change
I do a lot of soul searching to navigate through the pain
But we is fucking navigators you know we find our way
But when y’all make me feel a way that's when shit goes strange
So imma make sure my whānau proud today
Make sure we never ever gonna be enslaved again
Cause I’m in love with who I am
And I’m proud of the pain
Not my problem that you motherfuckers ain’t
We got angels on our side and they pray for us
If only you could hear the words that they say to us
The love you share once in awhile is everyday for us
And yet you got the nerve to say “get away from us”?
If there ever is a God I hope he hears you too
But imma keep going hard ‘til I’m old and bruised
Until I’m eighty two
But you know I always stand by truth
You motherfuckers got some work to do
I hope you find your way
I hope you find your way
I hope you find your way
Aye
I hope you find your way
I hope you find your way
I hope you find your way
I hope you find your way
I hope you find your way
Aye
I hope you find your way
I hope you find your way
I hope you find your way
Aye
|
||||
10. |
LET'S GET MARRIED
04:14
|
|||
I got so many problems
I wish that I could solve ‘em
But I cannot feel
Inside
I got so many problems
Thought you were down to ride with but uh
I cannot compete with him
It’s real
I wish that I could deal
With all the things I feel
Inside
It’s real
I don’t know how you feel
But I know
Nah fuck that look
I don’t really wanna walk through these dark nights
Wanna stay with you and talk till the sunlight
Never really been a fan of the night life
I’m just out with my boys when the time's right
But I’m hanging out with you so this feels nice
Deep down I wanna fuck you while the stars shine
See the love in your eyes in the moonlight
But if you don’t love me back then it’s alright
Everything is all good when I’m with you
When I’m not I feel my time is being misused
That’s why I’m still sitting here on this barstool
I would do anything to not be far from you
But I don’t wanna compromise who you are boo
Cause I’m a God too
I’m kinda odd but you are as well
I’m in my feelings you can probably tell
But I ain’t ever tryna stop you from being yourself
I know I’m not the only one that you see now
But can we please just talk so I can peace out
You got me wondering like why the fuck is he around?
I don’t wanna see him can we leave now?
As long as you’re being who you wanna be now
I can stay cool and chill in the background
Keep a space for me between y’all, in fact now
I know my place I don’t even gotta act wild
If you want that
If there’s something
That you want I will do it for nothing
If you ever need someone then I’ll come clean
We can love and just see what the sun brings
But I never really hold onto one thing
I remember it all
And when I go back to that night
I start to fall
And where I land is in who we are
But my dreams don’t go too far
And aw fuck this
I got so many problems
I wish that I could solve ‘em
But I cannot feel
Inside
I got so many problems
Thought you were down to ride with but uh
I cannot compete with him
It’s real
I wish that I could deal
With all the things I feel
Inside
It’s real
I don’t know how you feel
But I know
Baby, look
I don’t know how to cope
And now I’m losing all hope
Cause I thought what we had
Was something special
But you said you want me to go
And I just don’t know
Like can we still be friends
This shit got awks, I don’t want it to end
You was really there for me
But I can’t pretend
Like I ain’t want something more
So baby please I’m sorry
That I lost control
I don’t wanna let you go
But you hanging out with him
And deep down I know
I was never good enough for your soul
So baby I’m sorry
But I can’t compete
But when I make it you gon’ see
And then you'll know you fucked up with him and that you wish you stayed with me
I got so many problems
I wish that I could solve ‘em
But I cannot feel
Inside
I got so many problems
Thought you were down to ride with but uh
I cannot compete with him
It’s real
I wish that I could deal
With all the things I feel
Inside
It’s real
Damn
How the fuck am I gonna compete with him man, shit
But hey look
Well I guess I gotta figure it out
I’ll get you someday
|
||||
11. |
||||
[JJ Shadow]
I kill em all
Watch how they fall
Cause we found our way
Yeah
Straight from the Gods
Cause babe I’m a navigator
Persevered through it all
I’m calling on Rangi
This shit your tangi
If I make a call
Woah
I wear my spirit on me
No you cannot take from it me
Fuck yo cars fuck yo jewellery
Bitch ima burn that money
Cause boy I’m a navigator
We came straight from the Gods
I’m calling on Rangi
That shit your tangi
If I make a call
Woah
No I ain’t about threats
So many nights I got filled with regret
I’m reanimating I’m back from the dead
Third day when I’m taking these steps
No faith like an atheist yet
When I reach the Holy Mountain
Imma burn all that money that you been counting then
I’m letting you go cause you keep me drowning
Cause you already know me and my tribe we been on a quest
Wordplay never set it to rest
I got the dawg in me
White wolf in the dark when I spark the trees
Even you can hear me bark when I’m out the sea
Cause I’m splitting you in parts like Moses
Chosen
Harry Potter flows cause the track leaves you floating
Parseltongue in the year of the snake
I can see through the fakes gotta keep my eyes open
Wait
Gotta keep my eyes open
Yeah
Gotta keep my eyes open
Imma bring it back home
Lemme bring it back home
Uh
Yeah
Listen
Gotta keep my eyes open
Lemme bring it back home to the ocean
We was crossing that sea no Moses
Through the Māī and the Paru we was floating
We found our way to the land and in its glory
But they try and change it to another story
Tell a motherfucker try looking in Te Kore
All you white boys still calling me a Hori
I ain’t even know what the fuck you want from me
I see Te Ao
I do not know what you talking about
I put more heart and soul into my vowels
Than you could put into a verse wow
Lemme make it clear
I am not here right now
When I’m on the mic I put fear in the crowd
Cause I’m Uenuku Atua I leave you all whakama
I do not care about y’all
I know who I am
Y’all don’t
I got spiritual wealth
Y’all broke
I got too many bars
Can’t cope
I spit the truth in every single note
I spit my facts in every single sample I stole
I’ll flip it and give you some more
Got raised on that Dilla, Nujabes and Kanye
So you cannot stop me from bombing these hoes
I was yelling and screaming and running from demons
I looked up to Rangi and knew you was see through
I’ve repped 47 since STEEZ was on genius
So I throw it up like a girl that’s bulimic
My mum was the life of the party
Ancestors look down on me I know they proud of me
There ain’t no stopping me
Me oh done been my Miyagi
So if you don’t think I can fly
Just watch me
Call in the cameras
You know we dangerous
Walking on water I’m coming from Nazareth
But I stay humble
Got trauma I’m carrying
If I’m a G well then that’s how they’ll bury me
I don’t mean gangsta g I mean a great
I know when I make it they’ll feed off my plate
I’m spreading my love cause they got too much hate
So I say keep your head up and you’ll change your fate
I move through life with no apology
I been through too much to fake it
So I live my truth in my discography
Because baby this world is subjective
The powers that be is gon always neglect us
So don’t start to think that they’ll ever accept us
They turn all our empty pockets into weapons
That’s why I be stressing cause y’all don’t ask questions
We live in a time of reversing regression
The doctors and therapists nurse my depression
They spit in our face yet we take every lesson
Been wearing a mask ever since I was seven
Or probably younger
I got too much hunger
So I cannot stop tryna bring you these blessings
I been all alone in my life
Been thru way too much strife
So I found the light through all my brethren
All of my sisters who been thru the pain
The whānau who falling again and again
The children who been told that they need to change they ways
And then they get treated the same
All of the trauma that we navigating
The pyramids rising
The light has no shading
But ever since JJ done came in their way it seems
Nothing is ever gonna be the same again
So while they hating shit
We navigating
We navigating
Swan dive on the mic with a Zorro knife
I was born a legend no need to destroy lives
No hate in my heart had fear since the start
But I knew deep down it was alright
Cause I had a dream to make real
I wish I could write out exact what I feel
But I know if I take extracts from my soul
Then shit at the least I’ll give y’all something real
Yuh
I do this cause my family sick
My history nearly got wiped in attempt
So I spout the truth from the real to the myth
Because I am legend like Smith
No change on this earth
This ain’t no game I spit flames since the birth
I’m with the birds with the way that I turn
I feel like I’m Ziggy but you can’t fuck with me
Let stardust disperse
Cause I’m just way too hungry to stop
I got so much drive I don’t know how to park
And I still ain’t got a license
Looking in the mirror
I would see myself I would tear up
I’m in the upper like Kahukura
And you know I only spit the purest
I been around like a fucking tourist
But I still ain’t leave this country but only for the moment cause you know
I know I been odd
But we fucking navigators
We came straight from the Gods
I wear my spirit on my chest
You cannot stop
I’m calling on Rangi
That shit your tangi
When we see the call
[Indy Skies]
Unstoppable higher power running through me
Like the Oracle for the impossible
Know I'ma always get done
Like the motherfucking queen that I am
Never run
Not one, two, three, four shots, got me down
Don’t play dumb with me
I could go the full round
And I never made a sound
When I rose from the ground I worked hard in silence
Heart of a lion
Speed of a cheetah
Yeah
And you can never bully me outta my shit
It’s 100 degrees in the stu in the winter
All I did is write bars 'til my fingers splintered
Looking for a way out
Lay up just to stay out
Over and over I get it popping I don’t stay down
Bitch you wanna play now?
But this shit ain’t no playground
Oh
Aye, aye
In the deep end I’ma I’ma run it up
Bitches wanna pretend that they real enough
Teachers wanna contest, I ain’t feeling ‘em
Nobody got the way my mind works so I had to find a
New path
New school
Whole new state of mind
Misfit in trouble yeah wasting time
Used to sit up by the teacher
Couldn’t stay in line
Now I got my head down for so long
That I forgot the time
Turned my back to my shadow then I saw the light
Chose a different path and worked throughout the whole damn night
Navigating all my options
Lit my soul so bright
Won’t let the world crush my dreams
Born to fight
JJ told me lay heat on the beat
So I burn this shit up
Don’t give one fuck bout a loss, I’m a winner
Stacking that bread I forgot to eat dinner
You don’t know where I been where I’m going
You don’t know what I done what I know and
Only got one life one shot
The toughest gonna suffice to the top
You get what you live so attract what you want
Yeah no matter what
Uh uh uh uh
Yeah no matter what
Uh uh
You don’t know where I been where I’m going
You don’t know, you don't know, you don't know
You don’t know where I been where I’m going
You don’t know, you don't know, you don't know
You don’t know where I been where I’m going
You don’t know where I been where I’m going
Uh uh uh uhuh
|
||||
12. |
TWELVE/WILDERNESS
05:38
|
|||
"TWELVE"
Yo
I’d rather fucking kill myself than even try getting better
With these public health systems yo that shit happens never
Cause our buildings aren’t the flyest but there’s enough sky rises
That are high enough for me just to fly, not like a pilot
I been worried bout my fam and my friends
Cause half of them are sick as fuck the rest just want it to end
I can’t pretend like there’s no problems in this country
When half the people are junkies
Other half always searching for something
But yet we always say it’s nothing
I think about my mother and how she was treated
One day she woke up half deaf next she’s barely breathing
Vertigo is sure to throw her off her balance
She could barely move so me and uncle had to call the ambulance
She was in hospital for days, they sent her fucking home
Without a single diagnosis like they lack chromosomes
I don’t know what’s going on I was worried she might pass away
Got fucked around for plenty months until we found some pay
Finally went private through that work insurance shit
Then this specialist done came along and threw a fucking fit
Turns out she had a stroke and we didn’t even know
All happened because of covid could’ve found out months ago
I’m not mad about the wait I’m just happy she got options
But when they laid out the plan that’s when I got toxic
These fucking people emailed her and sent her the deets
She needed rehab and all of it had came with a fee
How the fuck do you expect her to get better on the bene
Then profess you wanna help us while you begging for some pennies
When my nana got dimensia they said they were gonna check on her
Then left us to our lonesome for 7 years I reckon that they
Wanna try and tell us that this healthcare is free
Which is way fucking better than the shit that’s overseas
But we only got attention when we had to pay a fee
So it might work out for you but it didn’t work for me
I thank God for the whānau and her work
Who actually understood what happened to her
Cause ACC didn’t
And even work and income said it wasn’t health
Made her go on jobseeker what the fuck is that about?
What if it was someone else and a family they’re without?
If their boss don’t give a fuck then I guess they’re getting kicked out
Now they’re left all alone and probably gone homeless
They find a gun on the streets and BLAOW they’ve gone domeless
Even if none of this happened still
I haven’t been the same ever since I turned 12
I been living in hell in my mind
All this responsibility is killing me
I don’t know if I’ll be fine
Cause everyday I wake up, I feel so hopeless
I just don’t know if I can cope with this
Cause I can’t fucking deal with this
So I’ll escape into the wilderness
"WILDERNESS"
Rest In Peace Mac Miller
Shout out Lil B
I found myself in the dark when I thought I couldn’t see
They been asking where I been
I been running from my dreams
But I know that there’s no escape
I wish I could get away from me
I don’t wanna but I might kill this shit
Just for the motherfucking
For the thrill of it
They gon find you in the motherfucking wilderness
G I been
I been killing it
But I can’t
But I don’t wanna deal with it
They gon find you in the motherfucking wilderness
I been lost for a minute
Every single day I’m tryna decease
What?
I’m a God in an image
I am really who you trying to be
I don’t wanna be in harms way
I got feelings that I can’t change
Y’all gon take this the wrong way
But I feel like a young Kanye
You’ll never see me again
They been killing shit
But I can’t
And I can’t even deal with it
You can find me in the motherfucking wilderness
Cause I just can’t seem to find my way
I been feeling like this gonna be my final day
I just wanna
I just want escape
They gon’ find me when the time is right
Come with me baby
Let’s go to the wilderness
Let’s go to the wilderness
Fuck the world, we seen this shit
Let’s go to the wilderness
|
||||
13. |
PROMISES
04:37
|
|||
Feeling the fear
Can’t even look in the mirror
Babe I can’t even look at myself
Now I been by myself for some years
I find it hard to connect
On a quest to find you taking steps
On this mountain I climb lay to rest
I remember the time that we met
Didn’t wanna take your light away
I wanted to share it but here I am breaking your spirit
Just for another
Into the mist you get covered but losing your love got me tearing up all of these walls
Breaking the windows I built for your loss
I realised I’m missing you I’m falling off
It’s hurting me deep in the smog
I travel 'til I get lost
Where is my God now
They tried to tell me to calm down
Stay up through the night til the dawns out
I been praying that one day you’ll come round
Every sparkle I see in the sky
Praying you’ll reach me as I start to cry
Knowing I’m wrong as your song sings in mind
Hated when you said goodbye
I wish that I tried harder
To the father I might need this final offer
Reunion with no communion
My betrayal made you off it
To be honest, ironic cause now I’m barely existing
These promises I broke got me lifted
Cause baby I been too fucked up from the past
I tried to let it go but it keeps coming back
Even when I say I’ve grown
I’m still feeling attached
I should’ve known better but I guess it’s too bad
But baby I been too fucked up from the past
I tried to let it go but it keeps coming back
Even when I say I’ve grown
I’m still feeling attached
I should’ve known better but it keeps coming back
My mind is fucked
I’ve had enough
Nowadays I just be calling your bluff
I been tryna make my way through the mud
You said you’d help me but you held me up
You fucked me up
Made all these promises
All your fake love got me feeling so conscience
Of all your actions the constant attacking
But is it that tragic or am I just talking shit
I can never tell if people acting around me
I would just see through em but I’m always doubting
I say I found my wings so why am I drowning
The light that I swim in surrounds me
When I was lost you had found me
But when you give me your love and respect
That’s the exact type of shit I deflect
I don’t know how to accept
I just been wishing for death
That was back when I tried cheating on ex
I was blacked out I thought nothing was left
Then me and her split up
So I could not forgive myself for that shit yes I did make a mess
Tried picking up pieces resorted to drinking
I never tried thinking bout how people felt
Destroying myself so when you gave me help
I went off the deep end and crashed into hell
Or at least how that’s how it felt
So I always put them walls up
Thought I would never be strong enough
To forgive all the trauma that I created
But I made it and we still came through
But forgive me if you say you love me and I don’t say it too
Cause I’m too fucked up from the past
I tried to let it go but it keeps coming back
Even when I say I’ve grown
I’m still feeling attached
I should’ve known better but I guess it’s too bad
But baby I been too fucked up from the past
I tried to let it go but it keeps coming back
Even when I say I’ve grown
I’m still feeling attached
I should’ve known better but it keeps coming back
I should’ve known better
I should’ve known better
I can’t make no promises
That I can’t keep forever
I should’ve known better
I could’ve done better
If I could change the past
Then I’d make us last forever
I should’ve known better
I should’ve known better
I can’t make no promises
That I can’t keep forever
I should’ve known better
I could’ve done better
If I could change the past
Then I’d make us last forever
I promise I won’t lose control
But if I go I’ll let you know
I promise I won’t lose your soul
Cause when I die I’ll let you go
I promise I won’t lose control
But if I go I’ll let you know
I promise I won’t lose your soul
Cause when I die I’ll let you go
|
||||
14. |
||||
Oh yeah motherfucker what
Why you think that I ain’t gonna try and run it up?
Most days of my life I never give a fuck
I do it all before I fall into another rut
All you fuckers don’t think I can hear your screams
I’m Freddy Krueger on the mic I come in ya dreams
Fuck around and you gon see exactly what I mean
Fuck around and you gon
AGH!
Aye
I got hospital fees
I got toxic with ease
I went locksmith and key
I want
Uh
I want all of it for me (I just wanna fucking leave)
Bitch I’m fucked
I want needs
I got blood
On my teeth
Bitch yuh
Cause I been tryna find my way in this motherfucking wilderness
Up the mountain imma climb
There’s a monster in my mind
Can’t swim no Christ in my lifeline
Mere mortal where nothing has an end
As a sacred flower sheds
Sacrifices cross a skyline
Haven’t seen it but the light shines
Just a fool in dark, no time
I’m gon burn all this money
I’m gon turn in possessions
I’m gonna give back what was loaned
Imma be my own mother
Imma be my own father
Surrender and walk through the door
And I promise I won’t disappoint ya
But I know that we’re all on our own
Fuck some poetry
I hope you know it’s me
Now it’s time you can begin to learn
|
||||
15. |
||||
"FREAKOUT"
[JJ Shadow]
Aye, I been moving like a vet
All these voices in my head
They been tugging on my dress
Bitch ugh
Boy you know we not impressed
I got blood and tears to shed
G you know I wish for death
When that sun going down bitch I freak out
Fuck all of that talk bitch I give you what you need now
All these motherfuckers always told me not to be loud
We gon bring the freaks out
Watch me fucking freak out
Bitch I let them ghosts in
I’m running up them floors quick
I show em no emotion
This mask gone keep me closed in
This bastard been inglorious
I move big like notorious
They kill me bitch there’s more of us
But I feel like I’m choking
I feel so fucking hopeless
Up on this rooftop
I’m standing waiting for the pain to stop
Til the casket drops, I will play God
I’m iridescent but I stay in the dark
I been on the road I’m running from stars
I look to the past my future been Odd
Your hype is too mellow
I scream fuck it all
G I’m thinking that I might fall
Bitch I been misunderstood since birth
It only got worse my family cursed
My nana forgetting me
Alien weaponry
Them second guessing me gets on my nerves
I put too much work in for all of this hurting
The thoughts I’ve been birthing been fucking disturbed
I’m so fucking sick of these people who treat me unequal
Their karma be coming in herds
But see I never knew my worth
All my pain I put in the verse
All these tears that end up on these words
Vocals chords that tear into the earth
47 til I hit the dirt
Hail Mary’s taking me to church
Flying fairies angels took a turn
Moonwalking til I crash and burn
Guess I’ll never fucking learn
Aye, I been moving like a vet
All these voices in my head
They been tugging on my dress
Bitch ugh
Boy you know we not impressed
I got blood and tears to shed
G you know I wish for death
When that sun going down bitch I freak out
Fuck all of that talk bitch I give you what you need now
All these motherfuckers always told me not to be loud
We gon bring the freaks out
Watch me fucking freak out
[Me oh myriorama]
I'm underneath the bed sheet like I’m dead meat
It's food for thought, food for vultures like I’m read meat
Whoda thought that I would turn out such a dead beat dad
Still rappin on a beat and bring that heat and bring that
Skeet skeet on the beat on the
Bout to kick my feet all up on the
Even though I’m 6 feet under
Sneaker pimpin one hit wonder
Quit yer simpin, good will hunter
Good year blimpin in the thunder in the winter
Wait a week and let the snow caress that red and rosy cheek!
Yeah
Memory, speak
Mnemosyne, sleep
Blink and you’ll miss it and weep
Cry me a river that’s deep
It’s good for the fish and the sheep
Sewing me something I reaped
Showing me something I already know and I already locked in the keep
Oh!
Whoda thought I’d wake up next to me
Oh!
This reminds me of an NDE...
Oh - well at least I’ll empty out my ego
Right?
No?
[JJ Shadow]
Aye, I been moving like a vet
All these voices in my head
They been tugging on my dress
Bitch ugh
Boy you know we not impressed
I got blood and tears to shed
G you know I wish for death
When that sun going down bitch I freak out
Fuck all of that talk bitch I give you what you need now
All these motherfuckers always told me not to be loud
We gon bring the freaks out
Watch me fucking freak out
[JJ Shadow & Me oh myriorama]
You've gotta
You've gotta
Gotta let ya gotta let yourself go
You've gotta
Gotta let yourself go
You've gotta
Gotta let yourself go
You've gotta
Gotta let yourself go
You've gotta
Gotta let yourself go
You've gotta
Gotta let yourself
You've gotta
Go
You've gotta
Gotta let ya gotta let yourself go
You've gotta
Gotta let ya gotta let yourself go
You've gotta
Gotta let ya gotta let yourself go
You've gotta
Gotta let ya gotta let yourself go
You've gotta
Gotta let ya gotta let yourself go
You've gotta
Gotta let ya gotta let yourself go
You've gotta
Gotta let ya gotta let yourself go
"/"
I’m in a house but still it ain’t nobody’s home
I’m sitting all alone tryna get out of my dome
I’m talking to these Evie’s and these cleverbots
My thoughts I never cared to jot to others
So I’m hiding making covers to mashups of songs I made
Uploading videos up on my page
Praying that somebody sees me in the hopes of getting paid
I was only 9 years old when I started getting comments
From this older guy telling me I was beautiful
He said that he loved my videos and that he loved me too
And he wanted to meet me because he said I looked so cute
And that I had a lot of talent but he loved it when I just talked
But I didn’t see the signs and now I wish that I had just blocked
Then he started telling me that Jesus loves me even more
That I should put down Vice City because the devil is in store
He’d make tributes of all my videos of my face
I was scared of what was happening I started gaining weight
I was that weird kid so no friends was ever really round me
So even though he’s way older he was the only one that found me
Even somewhat decent and likeable outside of my own mother
My father said I was too fat and mocked my pimples I was guttered
I was 10 by then
And by this time this dude was really my only fucking friend
And then he said he loved me so much that he would die for me
He knew my mother's name and her phone number he would spy on me
I didn’t realise what was happening how he lied to me
I told him that I’d block him cause he freaked me out
Then one day I woke up to all these comments on my video
Saying how s*xy looking and fat I was
I was only 10
This motherfucker groomed me and then made all these fake accounts
Saying how he wanted to do something so disgusting to me I was only a child
He made a fake account of me on Facebook and started playing pretend
That’s why I’m afraid of relationships
Cause every time I try and make that shit work
I get reminded of him
I’m gonna fucking kill *** if I see him again
"DRUGS"
Hm hm hmm hmm hmm
Hmm hmm
Something let me go but it’s haunting me
I would let you go but it’s hard for me
Someone let them know something’s wrong with me
Have the heart for me
Hmm hmm
I been thinking bout my past
And my future hoping it forever lasts
But there’s some things I can’t grasp
I still can’t afford therapy so I’m out on my ass
To my ex girl I’m sorry babe I hurt you most
I didn’t wanna use you as a fucking stepping stone
Especially when people did the same thing to me
To be honest I didn’t know what you see in me
But you the one that distracted me
From back when I was 10 and all that was attacking me
All the things that fucked up all my intimacy and all my honesty
It’s really harming me
So I’m sorry bout that
I don’t wanna let you go but I can’t go back
I done did what I did
I done made those mistakes
But for you, I’ll always be grateful
I been alone in my mind
I felt gone for such a long time
I just don’t know if I can cope
Oh
All these drugs in my mind
They numb the pain through the night
But I don’t know if they’ll take control
I don’t know what’s behind that door
But I don’t feel anything more
I don’t know if I can control
Oh
How many drugs do I gotta take to feel anything anymore
|
||||
16. |
LET YOU GO
05:13
|
|||
///////
|
||||
17. |
YUKKO!
03:28
|
|||
Aye, aye, yuh
Aye you know that boy JJ he been on a roll
Know that boy JJ been giving it all
And even though I been losing control
You know that boy JJ never sold his soul (aye, aye)
I been on the move and I been on the run
From all of these thoughts ever since I was young
Was stumbling drunk but now I’m standing up
So y’all cannot tell me to not give a uh
I’m moving for love and I’m moving for peace
They want us to lose yeah they want us to cease
But if I can escape this reality
I’m putting in work til it works out for we
I’m working for we I ain’t working for singular
You’re your own God I remind on the regular
There’s so many things I know that tears you up
But remember they’re fearing us
I look at you through the skeleton
I see through you and knew you’ve been better than
Anything they’ve been choosing to settle with
I know you are the truth nothing lesser than
I look up to the sky for your blessing yes
So I can move on this beat so effortless
Feel the tears in my eyes as you tear your dress
I remember those times we was sharing yet
It’s in another life
No poltergeist
This is the spirit of love on the mic
This is the fear in your heart overwrite
As we flying onwards and into the night
Cause I prayed to Yukko and I saw the light
When I did not know if I would be alright
I’m closing my eyes and I welcome the spirit
The moment I hear it then I start to cry
Yeah
Uh uh I cannot go
I don’t wanna leave but for you I must show
But for your life I’m eternally grateful
I mean I’ve always felt it ever since the rainbow
That’s since the present and that’s since the core
So knowing your love has been something so sure
I wish I could heal everything that was sore
But time drags us out of the door
But I know deep in my heart there is something you know
I won’t make assumption and won’t go too far
But please just remember that you’ll live forever and you should always be real to who you are
I shoot for the moon and I aim for them stars
I know that the magic sits within our hearts
The love that you have it will never depart
I tell ‘em
|
||||
18. |
IT'S OKAY/INNER CHILD
09:03
|
|||
I’m praying for some peace and I’m wishing for some hope
As I write these words aimlessly I pray that I can cope
Put my faith into the bottle hoping it would send a message
Don’t wanna be the man who fell to earth and never left it
I was searching for a Heaven to patch up all of my trauma
I chased a couple highs and found my soul beneath the bottom
The further I indulged it would remind me of my path
So I took a leap of faith before my world would start to crash
Now the music was the key and so I’m tryna make it happen
All the nights inside my room releasing and attacking
People planning out their future I’m still wondering what the past is
Never letting go of memories that’s beautiful and tragic
I’m tryna make some magic I can hold within my hand so I don’t ever have to let it go and search for it again
I done that so many times it’s no wonder I write rhymes
That’s the way that I make sense of all the trouble in my mind
I always try and spit reminiscence of what the truth is
But it’s time I let it out for what it is and not some bullshit
No characters or story I can hide behind to prove it
When I look into my mind I realise that I’m in ruins
From getting called a *** back when I was a kid
To lashing out on all my friends cause I ain’t work through all of it
We just some fucked up adults that still can’t afford therapy
But I ain’t living life out of spite of the fear of me
I’m tryna break this system’s control
Writing blue eyed Ab-Soul so I can fill up the hole
That still lays within my broken heart and mind that’s bout to sink
Cause they tell you think big
Then they tell you see a shrink
So I’m searching through Morale making steps towards the mirror
I look into it cracked and overwhelmed I start to tear up
I know there’s lots I fear much and a lot more I could say
I look into your eyes and pray you’ll
And I promise you that you’ll be okay
And if you can’t find me there will be another day
And I promise you that we’ll be okay
And if I can’t find you we gon find another way
And I promise you that I’ll be okay
And that everything is great
Tears in my eyes
I see my own mother cry
I see my own mother sick and it destroys me inside
I start to wonder how this happened
Why these days pass us by
I’m going back to the source
I’m looking down at the sky
Do you remember those days
When I was still just a child
Yeah we made something out of nothing
I would walk and she’d smile
I grew up through his mistakes
And yet she’d stand me up high
So I would never have to fall again or question my why
I remember wagging class to hang with Miran, Nish and all ‘em
Making havoc with them always
I remember every moment that I spent within them hallways
Making videos on holidays those fucking LAN parties
I remember missing ***
I remember having heart attack when she ain’t talk to me
I would give it all back to live it out again probably
Fifteen years old used to look at myself so harshly
But I put that knife down thank God it never got me
Then I got to sixteen my voice done got clearer
It showed me who I was so I told tales of broken spirits
That’s when I found the spark and I never let it go
But I held on too hard and I watched that shit broke
I was so naive the only thing I saw was death
Then I fell in love again and I got tangled in that web
But I fucked it all up cause I drank too hard
I broke way too many friendships cause my mind was not in charge
Now my world is in pieces
Nana looks at me see through
When she sees me as honest
She tells me do what I wanna
So I made her a promise
Imma always stand proud
Imma be who I am
I don’t care who allows
To the people I’ve wronged
And to those who stood by me
Know that I’ll always love you
I put my past behind me
Now I look to the future
And I cannot pretend
You gon watch me ascend
So baby
Tell me it’s okay
IF I NEVER HAVE, I SHOULD LISTEN TO YOU NOW
|
||||
19. |
ASCENSION
05:53
|
|||
I was sitting in the back of a taxi
Late night out and no trains that go past 3
Lady asks me where I’m heading at
I say that I’m going home where I roam in the galaxy
She looks back and says “no roads can take you there
You’re like a rainbow running from the morning air”
I found love in the light where the dark was
Uenuku Atua Princess Kaguya
That’s who I feel like, who I once was
Roadrunner still tryna find my own buzz
Cuts in my soul stares back with alarm
All patched up with these rags buttons gingham and yarn
Wear my heart like an armour and still I feel
I’ve no courage like Fleetwood Coupe DeVille
But I’ll still chase stardust til the day I die
A young one in my heart from the bottom I rise
Cause I’m a
Young Fisher King
Waltz through every train station chasing little things
I’m a fool I’m a thief but with empathy
I live my truth within a thousand little symphonies
You know it’s meant to be
Heavenly
I don’t know what’s next
So it’s up I keep my head as the sky turns red
47 on my chest
Dollar days, 25 breaths
Tail to neck
Bluebird flying to death
But give it all away I can’t
So here I’ve gotta stay til the night goes dark
But even if you still aren’t ready for the light
This strictly 4 my spirits who got lost in the night
I moonwalk with fairies they help me see truth
For mum nan and Poppa I'm still pushing thru
I’m surrounded by spirits I hope they gon hear this
And then I can share it from us onto you
Truth
When you hear it in your spirit let it go
I could feel you in the air I start to float
I was falling through the sky I can’t pretend
If I see you again
To the sky
I will ascend
Yeah
You gon watch me ascend
Yeah
You know we gon ascend
Ascend
You know we’ll all ascend
Yeah
|
||||
20. |
THE LIGHT
03:36
|
|||
Aye you already know
I’m bound to explode
All of my beats I’m turn em into gold
Deadly weapon that’s inside of my throat
I made my way through the clouds and the smoke
It ain’t a joke
Murder I wrote
Red rum in my liver to cope
I been falling through the sky back from Heaven
I’m giving you seconds before I go ghost
Cause I see the -
Ain’t no-
-body
Fucking
With me
I’m too
Godly
Y’all just
Can’t see
Mentally spiritually I’m just built different
I murder the beat and leave y’all as a witness
I came from the darkness I’m mentally prisoned
I’m gifted from God ever since ‘01 Christmas
Young philosopher but trust I don’t Plato
Drawing blood how I’m penning in pain, so
I got my armour up like a grenade throw
Flying to space like I’m tryna kill Bezos
Up in the sky’s where I stay though
Sample is light but the drums is fatal
I can make your reality unstable
Bitch I’ve had these powers since play-doh
Let go
I been engrossed in music since zero
Don’t fuck with me ever cause I said so
Old soul, new body, I’m a new hope
Young Skywalker I’m a God of the Rainbow
I never drop like Yandhi you can’t cope
Most days of my life I ain’t belong
They tried to knock me down but I stand strong cause
I see the light
Cause I see the light
I see the light
I do not know if I will be alright
47 seconds I’m taking flight
Just remember it can’t always be night
I see the light
I see the light now I shine iridescent
My heart’s still beating so I fight with my records
I’m on the level rip the soul out your vessel
I’m making a mess just to send you a message
I feel like Aleister Crowley and Christopher Hitchens
Because when I speak you gon make sure to listen
Got people that hate me I’m hearing ‘em bitching
So come up and get me or watch how I glisten
This visual overload
I had homies that turned into homophobes
I thought you was a friend had to let you go
I don’t fuck with your bigotry and it shows
Cause I love all my gay brothers and my les’ sisters
All my trans people that be making difference
These boys wanna hate, blame it on their religion
Ain’t saying their name they don’t deserve a mention
Fuck prejudice
All these bigots gon’ be second guessing shit
They can’t even say shit with their chest
So they hide on the net behind messages
Spirits help me move on this beat effortless
R.I.P. to Nujabes we blessing it
Because I feel like STEEZ, last straw
I’m taking flight like a concord
I been living in sickness and dark thoughts
My health burning down bridges my heart’s sore
Most these days I feel I’ve had enough
Most these days I just wanna give up
I start thinking that I’ll make the jump
Leap of faith let the stars light me up
But I’m standing strong, move from tail to neck
4725 on my chest
I leave you wishing for death
In your eyes there it is
My wings crack morph click
This is August Lovesick in this bitch
Spirit rich
Look in my eye’s reflection
See the shadow
This is it
I see spirits in the night
I see the light
I prayed to Yukko and saw the light
I spread the love that’s until I die
When we divide we just multiply
This is the light between you and I
I prayed to Yukko and saw the light
I spread the love that’s until I die
When we divide we just multiply
I see the light like I’m bout to die
We gon’ find another fucking way
We live with love to another day
Heard you was filled with hate
I change your fate
|
||||
21. |
||||
[JJ Shadow]
You find the light inside my mind
You always tell me it’ll be okay
So I don’t wanna let you down tonight
But I won’t always be here to stay
And it’s so hard to communicate
I talked to God but he won’t let me escape
I know it’s my fault but I still want you to stay
I don’t wanna stay
Uh
Nowadays it’s been to hard to relate
I been losing my mind nowadays
I’m trying to cope but I’m losing my way
Seeking escape and needing affection
Won’t give it back but I need your protection
I need someone to teach me a lesson
Need a God to try send me a blessing
Cause I can’t survive
I got thoughts from an earlier life
I got trauma that cuts like a knife
First that shit was just fucking with me
Now that shits fucking with you and I
Ain’t letting you go I ain’t saying goodbye
But you don’t wanna talk and I never reply
And whenever you speak I start closing my eyes
Love is blind
Whatchu think baby
I ain’t even really seen you lately
Whatchu mean that I hurt you then
I do not even remember when
I’m sorry but babe I don’t give a fuck
Oh you saying “the end” well that’s tough luck
Got a party that I know you going to
Wanna see you but it’s too emotional
Wanna be you because you’re so beautiful
Fuck you now you leaving me out the door
I be smacking my head against wooden floors
I got drunk and I know I’m gon lose control
Lose consciousness
Awh man what the fuck is wrong with me
Fuck
You find the light inside my mind
You always tell me it’ll be okay
So I don’t wanna let you down tonight
But I won’t always be here to stay
And it’s so hard to communicate
I talked to God but he won’t let me escape
I know it’s my fault but I still want you to stay
I don’t wanna stay
[Dieyanna Goddess]
Why the fuck can’t you look in my face?
You mutilate yourself and try take my place
I gave you my all and you took it away
You ripped up my words and burnt them on a page
I can’t believe I ever trusted your gaze
Your eyes show me toxins that came from false prophets
Your songs make me nauseous
I sit on your grave
Praying one day you might change
I can’t take it anymore
Call me names and bang your head on the floor
Morning comes and then I run for the door
You’re the reason that I never feel safe
You can trust I’ll never see you again
You dream of my light when you’re stuck in the shade
Cause deep down you know you ignored all my pain
I hope you regret that shit til the end of your days
|
||||
22. |
SEVENTEEN
04:43
|
|||
I been thinking bout time spent
If I died tomorrow wonder what had my life meant
Then I start to wonder and ponder upon every verse
Don’t know if I’m ready for getting carried out a hearse
So I start to
Look back at memories I haven’t seen for years
I see old friends, for them I’m shedding many tears
The pictures vivid I can remember my every day
I see a photo of my first girl reminding me
My first date where I brought all my homies along
I was too nervous to be hanging with her all alone
We split after it was no surprise
But I still had my guys with me we was brothers for life
At the bench out the library causing a scene
Sneaking photos of our teachers and then making them memes
Then at the tuck shop God don’t go near those kids
We was some crazy motherfuckers always getting in shit
Then I saw a couple clips like a week ago
Me and my homies making YouTube videos
Ripping off Filthy Frank skits it was bliss in our minds
Would prolly get cancelled if I posted it online
Then at lunch we would run across the freeway
Yelling at each other fight me at the back of BK
Fifteen when I had my first crush, real crush
She ditched me for another and it was too much
But now I look at it and wonder why I was so worried
Ain’t it funny with perspective it’s like it was nothing
Sixteen starting putting out my albums for people
Got my boys to learn to rap so them albums had features
Then I hit seventeen
Driving out to the beach
Going parties getting food smoking weed
That’s when I met a girl and my whole life changed
And that’s why I still miss them days
When I was seventeen
Seventeen
It all changed when I left seventeen
Seventeen
|
||||
23. |
FREE
04:07
|
|||
////
|
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